loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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