Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
