It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
