Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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