My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
