swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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