and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize