If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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