Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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