and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
