Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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