You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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