I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
