you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I will be naked everywhere
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I need to align my fucking chakras
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
