True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think I just sharted jello shots
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
