Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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