??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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