it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
