I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
