How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So squirting runs in the family.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
