guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
