If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
