THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
