Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
