In the future we'll all be gay
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize