ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
