i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
