I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
