Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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