i already hear my dad disowning me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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