Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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