Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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