Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
