Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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