New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
