he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
