She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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