i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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