If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
