He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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