Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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