My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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