I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Im part way to drunk.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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