Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
