hotel room ftw
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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