Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
