i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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