I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
