this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
