I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize