Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
