It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
