How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
