chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
