Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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