the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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