Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
no. you can't hotbox the world.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize