I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
wakey wakey hands off snakey
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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