What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
