You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
