What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
